Traveling Tips For The Single Mom

I just recently flew from Austin, TX to Fort Lauderdale, FL with my four kids. We spent five days on Pompano Beach. It was a wonderful vacation.

We did have  several hiccups on our vacation, but nothing devastating and I attribute that to the fact that I made conscious decisions to have no expectations, let things go, and laugh as much as I could. 

My kids’ ages are 13, 11, 11, and 4. For those that may not be familiar with me and mine, I’m kind of a no bull mom. I like my ducks in a row. It’s how I function. I’m equal parts fun and loving too, though, so get the drill sergeant visual out of your mind. I don’t really ever stop working, driving, cleaning, planning or doing until I succumb to sleep and often fight that. You could say I’m one of those that can’t relax unless the house is clean and tidy.

I’m quite fond of  spreadsheets and lists, maybe a little over-kill.  I watched too much MacGyver as child. If I think I can use something in some life saving scenario on a trip, I’m likely going to pack it. So, one can imagine with my Type A personality that planning a trip with 4 children 4 states away and to a place we’ve never been in our lives, might prove challenging.

I started my first spreadsheet about 6 weeks prior to the trip.

The header read “Suitcase 1” and the list started “The boys” and next to each boy’s name (there are three of them) listed every shirt, shorts, shoes, quantity of underwear and toiletry for them to pack. Then I moved on to “Suitcase 2” and listed “Girls” which would be a list of everything that me and my daughter needed to pack in our suitcase. Hindsight advice, do not to make a list at all. Tell your kids to pack whatever they think they want to wear, keep up with, think they’ll need. After each kid packed 6-7 outfits for a five day vacay, stayed in a hotel with a washer dryer in our suite,  spent our vacation on a beach, we wore maybe 2 outfits each. It was overkill.

The plus side is we came home with no dirty clothes at all. The downside is that we really over packed. Even if you don’t have the resources to do laundry, let your kids wear what they want. Who cares what they wear on vacation? Isn’t the whole point of a vacation to vacate the day-to-day? 

A few helpful hints for the single mom (or anyone) traveling with kids that worked for me: packing laundry pods if you’re checking luggage, use a suitcase allotment to pack a suitcase full of beach toys and inflatables (if doing a beach trip, or pack the like adventure supplies if not), packing a suitcase of just snacks and food for the hotel, staying in a hotel with kitchenette, and if traveling to a beach, I would also consider staying ON the beach even it the cost is a little more than you’d like to spend. Don’t rent a car. Just use a ride-share service like Lyft or Uber. 

Back to the general list of advice… shedding all expectations. 

Once I decided that we were just going to wing it, it made the trip much more enjoyable.

Any plans that were up in the air and consumed my thoughts, left in that fleeting moment. Up to this point, phones died faster than I had anticipated. Kids fought more than I had hoped.  They were hungrier more often than planned. There were definitely more babies and children populated on our aircraft than I thought imaginable.

After situating in our seats and preparing for take-off, I just had this wave of gratitude come over me. All of my kids were accounted for, happy, and quiet. I wasn’t the woman with the inconsolable infant and two toddlers four rows up. Nothing that had ruffled my feathers could trump what that woman was going through. The conscious decision was made to just be in the moment, enjoy my kids, and embrace the time away from our chaotic life. 

I didn’t stress over every single meal or daily adventure. I made reservations for one nice meal out and that was it. Groceries were ordered to be delivered to our hotel and I cooked simple family favorites, the kids grazed, ate sandwiches, and snacked and I didn’t stress over which restaurant we were going to, getting everyone ready, or who was going to eat what. I also didn’t expect every kid to be present on every outing or adventure. Granted the ages of my kids helped with this. I could leave my teenager in a hotel room sleeping the day away while we hit the beach if I wanted with no worry. 

I didn’t have the expectation that we would conquer Fort Lauderdale’s top 10 list. So what if we didn’t go visit Millionaire Aisle on a tour boat or even ride the water taxi like I had planned. My kids truly did not care one iota. They got beach time, chillax time at a hotel, pool time, a few rounds of virgin pina coladas and it was peaceful. So, don’t try to plan every minute of every day. 

I made the choice to really assert myself to the amount of nagging I was doing while on vacation aka letting things go. I didn’t make a fuss if they didn’t want to catch the sunset on the beach with me each evening or stroll downtown to people watch and eat sushi. The boys got to keep their room as they wanted. That translated to shoes on the floor, clothes unfolded and piled high on the suitcase, brothers wearing clothes that weren’t necessarily packed for them, and towels on the floor. My oldest son said this was his favorite part of the trip.

As much as this was my vacation, I was doing this all for them and wanted it to feel like a vacation for everyone. I bit my tongue and would retreat to my room or balcony when I couldn’t hang in the chaos any longer.  I’ve tried to bring a little more of this mentality home with us too. 

It’s been a less than favorable year for us. I wanted to make as many memories of us laughing as I could. One of the funniest moments we all broke out in laughter was when I attempted to skim board. I do believe the boys had grave concern over how this was going to turn out. It was hilarious. My boys think it should be published as one of Fortnite’s next dance moves.

Shedding expectations, letting things go and making laughter paramount was truly the pulse to our vacation.