I Just Don’t Wanna Do It
At my son’s preschool, Wednesday is “Wear Yellow” day, and Friday is “Wear Black” day.
I just don’t wanna do it.
Of my three sons, two of them are school-aged, and what that means, is that on any given school year, I have six different days I’m supposed to wrangle them into “Handsome Clothes”, for school pictures. Yes, there are individual spring and fall pictures for each of them, as well as group pictures for each of them. Six times each school year I have to battle them to wear outfits that they would NEVER actually wear in real life, to flash a fake smile while sitting on a stool in front of a harsh background.
I just don’t wanna do it.
Because and then I need to sit down in front of my computer and decide which “picture package” I want to purchase (none, honestly), as well as decide if I want to spend $10 to have my 9 year old’s art displayed on a coffee mug, a yard flag, or a t-shirt (do any of ya’ll pick THAT option? Your kids’ art on a TEE-shirt?).
I just don’t wanna do it. Y’all.
I’ve gotta spend an extra ten minutes that I flat out DO NOT HAVE in the morning artificially creating “Crazy Hair” for “Crazy Hair Day”, when really, the hair he woke up with was already crazy enough, but this needs to be over-the-top crazy, so that everyone knows it’s for Crazy Hair Day, and in doing so, he can…support Red Ribbon Week? I’m so confused. He and I are now in a fight over his hair, and…
I just don’t wanna do it.
When my kids birthday rolls around, I need to think of 25 non-edible treats (trash, basically) to bring up to his school, so he can celebrate with his classmates (even THOUGH we are already having a party for him. This is what moms do, and if you don’t, you’re kind of a mean mom). Guess what though? Yup. You guessed it.
I just don’t wanna do it.
I don’t really want to drive around town piecing together things for a Storybook Character costume, either, when I’ve already spent $40 on a Trick or Treating costume.
I’m not a grinch.
I’m not lazy.
I love my kids.
I love my kids’ schools and teachers.
It’s just that if all of these things are meant to somehow bring joy to my children’s hearts …enrich their lives..make them smile fondly on their school-aged memories….I don’t think it’s working.
The vibe I get from my kids is that the MAIN thing that would bring joy to their hearts, enrich their lives, and cause them to one day smile fondly looking back on their childhood memories is….a more present and relaxed mama.
I realize that all the things I listed above are so small, in and of themselves, but…added all together, and for 2,3,4 children…it’s a lot. And..
I just don’t wanna do any of it.
What I WANT to do is just BE with my kids.
Still trying to figure out at what point in life THAT gets to happen. I’ve tried and tried to simplify…then simplify again..but there continues to just be all these THINGS.
I was hashing this out with my friends the other day, and one of them said, “yes but in a way, don’t you think all of this just boils down to ‘adulting’. We are adults. We have to adult. The dishwasher breaks, we gotta fix it. Bills have to be paid. So on so forth”.
But nope, what I’m talking about is different. Because the dishwasher DOES need to be fixed. And bills do need to be paid. And groceries must be bought, and a whole slew of other “musts”. I get that we have to “adult”.
I’m talking though about this whole other set of things that simply aren’t necessary. Not only are they not necessary, but strangely, are (I think?) MEANT to add joy or fulfillment, and instead are only succeeding in adding stress and frenetic activity. THESE are the things I’m trying to think through lately.
Basically, in a nutshell:
“Why (the hell) am I doing this?”
“Is there a purpose to participating in this?”
“Is this making someones life better in any way?”
I’m not above admitting I could be wrong about all of this. Maybe Crazy Hair Day DOES actually cause students to give pause, think about what Red Ribbon week signifies, eventually resulting in wiser choices being made further on down the road. Maybe it makes an otherwise dull school day slightly more fun, and that actually IS purposeful.
I’ve been known to be wrong about something. Like once, a long time ago.
I’m just saying, my aim…and ESPECIALLY as we enter this crazy busy holiday season…is to think through whether or not there is actually PURPOSE behind so much of my frenetic activity, because if it turns out there IS no purpose…
I just don’t wanna do it!!
Anyone else feel me?
Well I hope you just don’t do it instead of thinking “I don’t want to do it”
I’m with you. So I don’t do it, if it’s not important to them… especially the birthday thing. They have to choose one or the other.
we have so much fun just being together!all the extra stuff isn’t important like you said. 💕
Me too. I didn’t dress my son up for book parade, and guess what…he survived! He is supposed to wear yellow to school on Friday and guess what…I’m not going to the store to purchase one. I just dont want to.
Me too. I didn’t dress my son up for book parade, and guess what…he survived! He is supposed to wear yellow to school on Friday and guess what…I’m not going to the store to purchase one. I just dont want to.