Let me start off my saying that if I had a flat tummy and the confidence to match it, I probably wouldn’t feel this way about swimsuits, so shout out to you mommas who can rock a bikini proudly. But for me and as long as I can remember, two-pieces have always been the enemy. Even at the age of 19 as a collegiate dancer at 115 lbs, I never felt comfortable. Instead of basking in the moment of competing in a NDA competition in Daytona Beach, Florida, what sticks out in my head is how I felt when I knew we’d have to take a team bikini picture on the beach.

Instead of just accepting myself for exactly what I was in a bikini, or just wearing the darn one-piece I had in my closet from church camp in middle school, for some reason I miserably wore bikinis anyway.  My lack of comfort with my body and my “never good enough” mindset through my 20’s caused me to be unable to live in the moment and enjoy precious moments at the pool or beach because of being SO concerned with the way my tummy looked. There was a voice in my head saying I had to either be pregnant or a mom before wearing a one-piece became “socially acceptable.”

Now there’s a big part of me that wishes I could tell you that through therapy and positive self-talk I have somehow overcome my fear of the bikini, but that just ain’t true. Which is why I couldn’t have been happier when the one-piece style that returned the shelves of swimsuit retailers last year. They weren’t subtly shoved in the back next to the beach cover ups, they were up in front proudly displayed next to the teeny bikinis. I’ll never forget the feeling I had of walking into Target, seeing the multiple, trendy choices of one-pieces suits and screaming in my head, “HALLELUJAH!”

Although my husband hates when I wear a one-piece (he affectionately refers to it as my “onesie”)… it is truly a trend that I can fully embrace. For the first time, I actually got to ENJOY the beauty of the beach and the things I’ve always loved. No longer were jumping over waves, drinking daiquiris, and laying out tainted by my over-zealous, mean girl voice in my head that told me I look like a beached whale. In my one-piece –without a cover up– I played corn hole, bent over to put sunscreen on, sat in my beach chair without it being fully reclined… things I haven’t done in YEARS.

Despite my husband’s adorable, yet unsuccessful, attempt at making me feel like I look good in a bikini, the truth is that I felt better being a bit more covered up and he loved that I felt like Fun-Katie instead of Beached-Whale-Katie.

So, thank you swimsuit designers and retailers, I confidently rocked my onesie at 35 weeks pregnant this summer, and I’m never looking back.