Why We Don’t Use The F Word In Our House…Fat

fat

As a mom to 2 kids 5 and under, I am always censoring myself, and our environment. Trying to eliminate the exposure of profanity, sexuality and basically anything that my little innocent children will repeat, question or absorb far too early. If it were up to me, life would be sunshine, rainbows and glitter dust all contained in a perfectly tinted pink bubble.

But I know years will pass, my sweet little angels will grow and learn about the world, the good and the bad. I’ll hope that I’ve raised them to be kind, compassionate and confident girls who treat people with respect and who demand respect for themselves. But no matter how much of the noise, I work so hard to filter out of their ears, I know what they are really learning from is my behavior. My actions. Not necessarily the lessons I’m telling them, but more in the lessons I’m showing them. And this is why, we don’t use the F word in our house.  

 Fat…It’s a word I feel far too many of us women use. Not to describe others (let’s hope) but to describe ourselves. We do it when we complain about our weight, or gasp in the mirror in disappointment or when we step on the scale.
 
Before I go any further, I must say I have done (and still do) all of these things. I am not preaching down here, trust me. It’s just something I’ve decided and committed to not saying or doing in front of my girls. It’s something I’m making a constant conscious effort of being aware of, so when I shame myself, I can stop and rewire my thinking. It’s gotten easier for me as I’ve gotten older and more secure, but I can say that most of my life I’ve been unhappy with my body. Always finding the flaws, always criticizing. I find it’s something a lot of us actually bond over. We talk negatively about our bodies, and insecurities, and reject when someone counters with a compliment. Why is it hard to accept compliments? Why is just saying “thank you” so hard?
 
What are my girls growing up to think about their bodies from a mother who always spoke so hatefully about hers? When they hit their teenage years, and are battling the pressures young girls face, how will their confidence be affected if they associate it with a number on a scale? These are questions I ask myself, questions that remind me to love my body, and to teach my girls to love theirs. 
 
We do talk about being healthy, and being strong. We do talk about eating healthy foods and not overeating junk food. I do take them to the gym with me and hope they see mommy exercising and taking care of her body. I do shower my girls with positive affirmations about how smart, and kind they are and how proud I am of them. Whatever I can do to build up a healthy confidence and self esteem in these delicate, vulnerable girls of mine. Because I know that one day I won’t be there.
 
They will be standing in a locker room with a group of girls and they’ll hear the F word being thrown around and I just hope, I just hope with all my being, that they will have the self esteem to know that beauty comes in all shapes and all sizes and that they are beautiful. And I hope they will be an inspiration to other young girls to see themselves as beautiful too. 
 

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One Response to Why We Don’t Use The F Word In Our House…Fat

  1. Cassie March 27, 2017 at 6:15 am #

    I completely agree and am working on this same issue myself.

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