You know what’s frustrating? When someone asks you a question, but doesn’t seem satisfied if you don’t give them the answer they were looking for, or if you answer with “I’m not sure.” But you know what’s even more frustrating? When YOU’RE not satisfied with the answer “I’m not sure.” Let me explain.
People often ask us if we’re done having children. And when this happens, it gets my mama-brain going through these cycles. One day, I’m in awe of this perfect little family we’ve created. The next, I’m scrolling through Instagram and having serious FOMO (fear of missing out) when I see pregnancy announcements, birth photos, and pictures of 3-4 young siblings loving on each other, all snuggled up on mama’s bed. Moments later, I’m snapped back to reality when one child snatches a toy from the other or they both want to sit in the same seat. It never fails that in a few days, the cycle resumes.
It’s a weird dynamic, really. After our second was born, we were certain we were done. We have a girl and boy. Our perfect little nuclear family. We could start purging the baby stuff because clearly we wouldn’t be needing it anymore! We have the perfect number of people for our house. We have the perfect number of people for our car. We can ride roller-coasters as a family and no one is left out. Seriously, this is a real part of my logic. Think back to your childhood: mom was always left to sit at the bottom and wait for everyone else to ride — not in our perfectly-sized family!
And then there’s the issue of providing the life we want for our children. This is TOTALLY personal preference and I firmly believe that every family should choose what is right for THEM. For us, we want to be able to provide our children with family vacations, with trips to visit family around the country, with adventures around the world. We want to be able to help them with their first cars and with college expenses. Don’t get me wrong, we COULD afford these things with another child. We could afford the bigger house and the bigger car… but other things would be tight if not eliminated all together (I can’t change the roller-coaster thing, but I guess I could get past it!). By keeping our family small, we can offer our children more of the lifestyle we’ve envisioned. But what if…\
All things considered, we haven’t ruled out another baby. There are definitely days when we daydream about another newborn to snuggle; another set of “first experiences” to share. Arguably the hardest part of this whole parenting gig is the fear of the unknown. It’s a lot of pressure trying to plan another human being’s entire life!
We’ve come to terms with the fact that we don’t have to decide right now. While it might feel like time is ticking and social media might be pulling at my mama heart strings, we’re committed to giving all we’ve got to these two amazing little humans.