One Thing I Know About Marriage One Year In


A year ago, I stood patiently waiting out of sight to marry my Mr. Wonderful when one of my best gals turned to me and said, “You’re the calmest bride I’ve ever seen.”

I was calm. I took a look at the people sitting there waiting for the ceremony to begin. MY people. OUR people. They’d come all the way to Mexico to celebrate the Neel Nuptials with well wishes and wine and The Wobble. I was in awe of this gesture of presence – both simple and grand at the same time. It was the kind of warmth that flooded my heart with enormous gratitude.

Then I knew that evening’s purpose was so much bigger than a wedding. It reminded me to keep showing up for my husband. Keep showing up for my sons. For my people. For myself.

Marriage advice

Photo by Dennis Berti

I had no qualms or reservations or hesitation because mi querido and I had put in the work. In the days and months and years leading up to THE day, we asked the hard questions. We took the classes. We communicated our expectations. Side by side, we made decisions big and small. We defined our terms for this life together and it’s given us a beautiful advantage over the couple we might have been.

So as I waited patiently behind a stone pillar that day in Cabo San Lucas to marry my beloved, I knew that man was getting the very best of me. That day was a celebration of marriage, but also a very singular celebration of more than 15 years of delicate, passionate growth – because I showed up for myself.

And I was calm.

So here’s what I know about marriage one year in: When I’m anxious, Mr. Wonderful is calm on my behalf. And when he’s not himself, I strive to be his salve. The seesaw of marriage thrives that way.

Photo by Dennis Berti

Photo by Dennis Berti

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